Saturday, February 1, 2014

Working Student #OFW4

Working Student #OFW4

I resumed my schooling through the help of Ayah Isabel who supported me from A to Z. Even with my deepest soul I knew too well that all of these were just a stair to heaven. The most important things that I could revive with my weaknesses were the ones destroying my dependent personality. But even though I experienced hardships on my existence, I was still aiming for whatever hopes inside of me. Battling through poverty was not my forte, and I didn’t have the inkling of eluding them. I had such an amazing way of defying myself with what I’ve learned to fake things that came into my life.

I began to discover things the hard way. I worked as a server in a restaurant near my boarding house. Some customers wanted to know me personally. Others befriended with me. At first, I thought that these people wanted to uplift my well-being and to extend some wonderful things that I wanted in life. I considered my situation and emotion to be cultivated by what I valued as new adventure to me. They explored me high enough as mountain climbers reached the mountain tops. It was such a feeling of developing your inner self to the people who liked to dig deeper and deeper until you cannot fathom the deepest evil in you.

After my duty hours, I was with them, daily as what they wanted me to, as what they molded towards the new day; drinking spree, parties and drugs. Nightlife seemed to be the breathing element of my soul. I discovered it, I wanted it, now, but deep inside my heart, I knew what this meant to be with them. Nevertheless, I continued schooling but my soul and energy cannot withstand the rigors of every day event. Even though how hard I tried to run away, still, I kept on coming back and wanting for more. Earthly things captured me like prisoner, like a virus eating my flesh, and released the ecstasy within me. Believing that I could extend the wondrous feelings that I discovered, explored and tasted; my discovery made me a fool, until I found myself doing the craziness of humanity; money, drugs and sex.

The more I valued my vices, the more I succumbed to its essence that I could not faltered to taste it; every minute of it. The happiness that I felt gives the real meaning to what I wanted in my whole life. But, little by little, it destroyed my self-esteem and even my whole personality. It changes the core of my soul, my being, even my heart, resulting to my downfall. The decreasing energy within me continued negatively. The goals that I cherished most were lost over time. I found myself lamed, weak, sad and alone.

I cannot coped up with my life in the city, alone, and it’s Ayah Isabel who cared for me, came to the rescue. Even my friend Edward Ramirez helped me without any boundaries. I released the very core of my existence to the people who loved me. Edward and Ayah were the two human beings that always lifted me-up for whatever problems I am entangled with my vices.

Edward and Ayah nursed my soul to be back again. Knowing that I can revive my spirit and resumed the ambition I have had. They stayed for a while and encouraged me all the way.

“Best friend, are you alright now? I’m very happy for the changes…I mean, the changes in you. Glad to know that you can work again. I’ll tell our manager about your comeback... You know, he’s asking about you and I lied, knowing that I want you to work there again. Yes my friend?” Edward asked me one day.

“Yes my friend, now I realized… how foolish I was…how weak,” I answered crying.

I started to concentrate with my studies for two consecutive years through which I gave a real meaning to it. The vital things that matters most to me were the ones that triggered my motivation to grow. The development that I almost conquered was reeling to be mine; for I excelled for all my subjects, extra-curricular activities and friends. It’s nonetheless a revival!

I joined the college publication to explore the possibilities of motivating my inner self to reveal what’s inside of me. A written form of expressing my thoughts and feelings; poetry, short stories and drama guild, healed it gradually. Most of my time, I spent with these activities, not knowing that I am changing the values of my life. My life now was a reverse of what I experienced during my first year in the city.

The first free verse poem that I constructed was entitled: "Closer to Me."

Your beauty captures my heart
Your soul surrounds me wherever I am.
Perhaps, you are Goddess of beauty?
I feel you are endless.

I feast my vision to you
Turn towards the light
Perhaps by chance
But definite in direction.

I am drawn
By the deepest awareness of you
Which wane my heart to think of you
And feel your soul throughout my life.

I know so very little yet feel so much
Oh, it’s a great feeling to see your soul!
Unable to gaze to your beauty
My soul provides to my heart, a vision…
Unable to touch you.

Our soul’s touch which sends us to pleasure
And our bodies shiver with ecstasy
In oneness of perfection.

I am amazed by you, as you are
You are not far, you are close
And I held you so tenderly
Closer each moment...
Closer to you...


ABOUT THE AUTHOR: A freelance writer who meticulously structured and maintained blogs just for you:A LIFE SO FAR AWAYand my other business blog:SHOPPING eMALL Thank you for your valuable time. Follow my business & writings and you'll find what life's meant to be.

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  1. i don't remember much during my younger days, i mean i don't remember things in details like you for i just let go of things as they come, i also suffered poverty then but managed to finish my studies, that is what i remember hehe :)

  2. I was a working student since high school so I can relate . It's tough but you just have to work through it, it's what molds you.

  3. I think the most important after all these trials are you manage to get into yourselves again and live like everyone else normal and no fear.
    You even manage to finish school so thats already a very big big and high accomplishment ! Well done!

  4. Gosh! I am glad that you survive and on your feet again. I did not experience any of those coz I am a good girl :-) You are very lucky that you two best friends with you, who are always by your side through thick and thin :-)

  5. I know someone who felt the same way like you, but unfortunately, he has never learn to get up on his feet, I feel sad and sorry for him...Anyway, glad to know you're up and doing well again... that's how it should be, life has its ups and downs, and it's always better to get up when we are down.

  6. our mistakes in the past help shape and strengthen us if we do learn from those mistakes, which I could see you very clearly did, glad you had 2 souls to bring you up who believed you could. and glad you gave yourself a chance to move up again.

  7. nice to know that you survive and back with yourself. I've been with many different kinds of friends but never I had made a bad decisions in my life. I love partying as well but never will be putting myself in a drugs or over doing it. nice to read this one!

  8. Everybody deserves to change and deserves a second chance. Clearly, you were sent two angels in your life that were meant to steer you into a better direction.

  9. You'll only know your true friends during your downfall and glad he Edward and Ayaw to help that person cope up.

  10. I want to try getting a job right now to ease the burden of my college expenses on my parents since my course really requires daily expenses on stuff. Good to know that you've managed work while studying.

  11. I really admire people who are working student since they learn to be responsible at an earlier age.

  12. It's when you discover God and how to live a life that's driven by Him then you would shift away from vices and concentrate on the good.

  13. Real friends are true treasures that we must value. Not everyone is lucky enough to have such friends.

  14. Oh wow! All your words were definitely coming from the heart. I joined the school publication too and there i learned everything and anything about writing and life. I honestly can't wait to read more of this, PART 2!

  15. You are blessed to have someone like Ayah, who was with you all throughout. I also admire your courage to change.

  16. Wow! student who're working are such an inspiration to the youth!. I applaud them for their hard works in order for them to continue paying the tuition fees.

  17. Real friends are those that will help you when you are down and they will tell you things you don't want to hear.

  18. It's good that you have good friends that helped in the hardships. Everyone needs a best friend who will be there always :)

  19. It's good that you have good friends that helped in the hardships. Everyone needs a best friend who will be there always :)

  20. nice to know that the character is now in a good place with good friends. it is always nice to have friends who's there for you

  21. Very inspiring. You can do it. You are blessed with people like them around you.

  22. In one way or another, there are always people behind or around us who are there for us especially during the times when we really need them! You had your back covered by those special people!

  23. I did a lot of things too, all of it in fact.
    And like you, I picked up where I left off.
    Now, as I look back on these things I did in the past,
    I'd consider as bunders of the youth but rather a phase of growing up.
    Its good that you realise them and learn the value of things not because they can make you feel better.

  24. The poem is very inspiring you are lucky to have a friend who supported you from A to Z.

  25. This is a very inspiring post, Kuya! A must read for everybody, especially the students.

  26. Thank you for sharing your story. That part of you did it. You were able to survive the past and now, great things will come to you as long as you continue doing the right things in your present. Keep inspiring everyone!

  27. Our past makes who we are today. Although I have bad decisions I did before, still I'm glad I learned from that and surely will not do the same mistakes again. Besides, I'm already in the new chapter of my life.

  28. Notice from the Author: Just click the + sign at the topmost portion of this page, and your comment link will appear here. Thank you so much for all your comments.

  29. I think this is truly inspiring. Mabuhay ang mga working students and may God bless those kind souls who offered to help! :)


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